So many hexagons, so little monkey. I’m sure my brain needs a break from them but my paws can no longer cope without the calming repetitive movement of the crochet hook. I think I’m hexaphrenic. It’s a lot like being schizophrenic except that I made it up just now. Only 157 to go. The more astute of you might notice that I’ve been making each colourway in multiples of three. The even more astuterer of you might notice that 295 is not divisible by three. Ahem.

At the weekend, I decided to oil my wheel. All over oil, not just the wibbly bits. I don’t like varnish, and I don’t like painted wood, so it didn’t leave many other choices, so I’d left it unfinished since I got it. But at the weekend I settled on lemon oil. Of course nowhere would sell me lemon oil at the weekend, but we had a lovely time in bank holiday DIY store carpark fun zone.

My infoweb oil showed up today, but I only managed one coat before I got bored and cranky, so the next coat will go on when I’ve spun another bobbin’s worth of yarn, i.e., tomorrow. A greasy little monkey smelling deliciouslyof fruit in a house full of rabbits and laminate floors is not a happy thing. I have a little bandage on my tail, and plenty of ointment, but it’s going to take a lot of ice cream before I feel better.

As you can see, the Professor slept through the whole thing. He’s upstairs now cleaning up the blood. The good thing about lemon oil is that if I ever spin for so long that I forget to eat and get overcome by the dizzies I can suck at the legs for nourishment. You can’t really see in the photo, but it’s gone quite shiny in places. All 3D ripples and bewilderment. Wood’s weird. But you can’t argue with trees.

I bet you can see what it is now.

If you make smaller things and take more pictures you can dramatically increase your productivity.

This is red merino, roughly sports weight I reckon. I haven’t checked the wpi so I can’t tell exactly what sport, but there’s a good chance it’s midget wrestling. It smells like midget wrestling. Now that the red’s all done I’ve started with my blue faced leicester, which will be at about the same weight. I don’t know what I’ll make with it, but I know there’ll be a LOT of it.

I think I will shortly reach the point where I have enough different colour combinations and then I will increase their numbers until I drown in them. We might need to build an extension on the tree house to store them all in.

It’s not a flamingo.

I’m the Fonz!

From P&M I got the latest Interweave Crochet Special and a big old pile of blue faced leicester.

It’s super soft. I might buy several more kilos and live in the stuff.

I’ve also done a modicum of knitting.

The colours are a lot more intense in real life. Now I just need to find someone to fob it off on. And also a pattern for the other skein.

And of course the ever present hexagons. They haunt my dreams.

And here we have the beginnings of something new.

Can you see what it is yet?

Also pressies.

My chocolate tin had become depleted and the musical monkeys were sad. So sad.

So I bought the teeeeeniest smidgeon of chocolate to cheer them up. Just an end of season selection from Hotel Chocolat. Mmmm, yummy.

Oh, and maybe a half kilo slab, but only because it was half price. I’m not greedy or anything.

And there might be a little bit of marzipan, but that doesn’t count as sweets because marzipan is sophisticated.

And in case anyone tries to steal my chocolate, I got me a Miss Army Knife, so stay away or I’ll cut you.

I also adopted a little Unazukin to help me make complicated decisions.

Is Super Monkey great, Unazukin? Double nod!

Does Super Monkey have enough chocolate, Unazukin? No!

UNAZUKIN KNOWS ALL!

But wait! There’s more! I have pressies too. My bestest yankie bunny robbed made friends with some girl scouts and thieved bought some delicious cookies.

There are also monkey wrist bands, tellingscopes, fierce pirate tattoos, mini monkeys, a flashing skull, some magnets and an AWESOME pirate t-shirt. I definitely didn’t get over excited and go on the rampage in Greenwich or anything.

AND! I got me some extra colours for my hexagonal throw so maybe the disturbing crochet related nightmares will stop now.

And that’s all the new stuff I have! But only because the other stuff I ordered hasn’t arrived yet.

Unazukin! Is Super Monkey greedy? Double nod!

I’ve been practising all year and it’s time to find out if all my hard work has paid off. That’s right. It’s Rodeo Weekend! A long weekend of rabbit ‘rassling and the highlight of the Donkey! Monkey! calendar.

I’ll be entering Bozzy in the Wild Ride category. We did well last year, and I see no point in messing with a winning combination.

I also hope to retain my rabbit ‘rassler champeenship title FIVE YEARS RUNNING!

There’s a new event this year that I’m very excited about. Sudden Death. They put you in the area, one monkey, one rabbit, no weapons. There’s a couple of deadly rabssassins to watch out.

See that steely glint in her eye? Elvira ‘The Weasel’ Tugger didn’t. And it was the last thing she didn’t see.

This guy isn’t nearly as fast, but he’s meticulous and he loves his pies.

Serbia? SERBIA?

Worst. Song. EVER!

I propose that the UK boycotts the Eurovision Song Contest until we have full devolution and independence for all our constituent parts. Then we will return powerful with our own voting bloc of doom and teach those pesky Balkan cheaters a lesson they won’t understand.

‘A record 15 of the 24 acts came from eastern Europe, with 13 of the top 15 spots going to those countries. ‘

Terry’s heart is breaking. Will you stand by and do nothing?

There was a transvestite with a mirror ball on his head, a Greek Ricky Martin, a Swedish Marc Bolan and a bunch of slutty Russians in short skirts and yet the kid out of Two and a Half Men won? Something is rotten in the state of Eurovision.

Er, well gloves actually.

I made these for the elegant lady Badger’s birthday so she can goth it up when she’s seducing her latest victim restocking shelves in the library.

The yarn is Blue Sky Alpacas Alpaca Silk and the pattern is from Naughty Needles. It was these or the nipple tassles, but I wasn’t sure how many nipples badgers have. It was very hard to give them away and I think I might still sneak round and steal them back. I’m pretty sure she’s too drunk to read this, so she’ll never guess it was me.