My new horse!

Good old Spanner found him for me.  I’m going to train him up for jousting as he has a MIGHTY KILLER INSTINCT and likes biting stuff.  Also, when he farts it sets up a powerful explosion in his shell and sends him vast distances so that he might smite his enemies.  He always keeps 50p in his hand so he can get the bus home again if he lets one off by accident.

I think I’m winning. When I’m looking for yarn for my next project and I accidentally trip and fall it now takes me under three hours to crawl my way back out again. And only 10 minutes to fly back up to the top. You Earth type humans make such a big deal out of this stash busting lark but really you are just PUNY and lack the AWESOME WILL POWER of the space monkey.

The Ally Pally knitting show reminder came through the tree house door t’other day and all I have left from previous expeditions is one skein of laceweight, one pair of unknitted socks and a bag of that really cheap blue stuff that everyone bought from the man standing by the wall.

But mostly I have been spinning and sewing and so there have not been very many photos and there’s not much point blogging when you have no photos as everyone knows that blogs without photos SUCK and no one reads them.

All my photos are a bit rubbish by space monkey standards but still better than puny Earth type humans deserve.

PHOTO THE FIRST!

Behold the Montego wossname scarf. The pattern was in the last IK in the exact shade of seasilk that I bought at Ally Pally last year. I took this to be an omen, as well as a pattern that would require sod all monkey brain working on my part. So I made it. Tassels and all.

This yarn has more floomf to it than pure silk. FOUR NANAS!

PHOTO THE SECOND!

Disappointing socks. I don’t know how long I’ve had this yarn. I don’t know what it is, or the name of the colourway. One of those yarns that looks pretty on the skein but that you’ll never find a pattern that suits or be able to get a decent photo of. Still, it’s dead now.

So all you can see is blue. Meh.

PHOTO THE THIRD!

More socks. This yarn is the same age as the previous stuff, but I think it might be CTH. Of course it might not be. My stash is highly organised in that way.

PHOTO THE FOURTH!

Isn’t here. I forgot to take one before I posted the socks off. If you ask nicely Idoru might flash you some ankle though. Idoru is tender and delicate and a little bit sickly and can’t wear woolly things without swelling up to 12 times her original size and EXPLODING so I did make her some foxy foot coverings from Cascade Fixation and it is by far the sproingiest yarn I ever did use. I’m not sure I have the hang of such elastimacated yarn and I am still sorely bruised from being bounced off the ceiling when I pulled it too hard.

Today was the might medieval festival at Loseley Park. But it rained all day long and so there aren’t any photos. I can only apologise. I know it’s not the Donkey! Monkey! way to go on a forum outing and not take lots of photos of me being great, but there was a chap there who filmed me heckling the jousters so maybe that will turn up on YouTube at some point. WHO KNOWS?

If you already own the original Loop-d-Loop then you know what to expect from the latest offering from Teva Durham.  Insane ideas beautifully executed.  The photography is once again exquisite but the patterns this time around are a lot more wearable, crocheted boots aside.

There’s a gorgeous little girl’s bolero that makes me wish I was three feet tall, simple tunics and blouses, a simple yet stunning capelet combining crochet with Cluny lace ribbons, a beeeyoooootiful staggered web lacy top, bags, coats, shawls AND A HAMMOCK!!!!

There are still things that I wouldn’t consider making, I’m not a wraparound skirt sort of a monkey and minidresses are so last Thursday, but if you can crochet you have to buy this book.  There’s nothing else like it out there and it is absolutely THE BEST crochet book on the market.  If you can’t crochet, learn quickly and then buy this book.

I wish I was Morticia Adams enough to get away with the lazy wheels coat.

BUY THIS BOOK!

No flaming!  No fighting!  No politics!  No religion!

The internet has become a very boring and frustrating place.

Wouldn’t it be nice to get it all off your chest in one big nasty burp of an insult?

Feel free to use me as your insult bitch and let me give you helpful pointers in maximising your nasty potential.