Yarn is a lot like farts. It will expand to fill all the space available. No matter how much of it I knit there’s always more hiding round the corner. And anytime I make a little bit of room the Professor’s eyes light up and he buys himself a DIY jumper.

Only bigger.

So, I got a bit bored of socks and decided to make a start on the laceweight stash. This is Adamas shawl in Posh Yarn Eva that I got in the lace club many moons ago.

I’m not a fan of the colour which is most of why it took so long to get used. The purple and red yarns from the club flew the nest long ago, but the blue is still sitting unloved in stash. The yarn itself is gorgeous stuff, it’s just the colour hurts my belly.

I made a hat too.

This is in Tess’ Designer yarns cultivated silk and wool. It’s well read and knows all sorts about opera. It never swears in front of your mother and it always excuses itself after particularly smelly bottom burps.

So now I am back to the socks.

My nan used to say ‘red shoes, no knickers’ and I’ve been told often times about hikers and their red sock sex (if you see a pair of red socks on a bush, run fast, run far and never look back) so I going to claim that these are maroon because I’m a good monkey and the only thing you should ever do behind bushes is pooing. Or maybe you could hide there with a gun and pick people off. In any case, it doesn’t matter what colour my socks are, wearing knickers would restrain my mojo and that’s not something I even want to think about. You wouldn’t stick a cork in a volcano and expect it to turn out well.

This weekend I will be attaching the border to my quiltasaurus so you can expect an update soon. Doesn’t mean it will happen, but you’re free to expect it.

‘Not more socks, Super Monkey!’

Yes! More sodding socks.

Stansfield something or other.

Marigold socks.

Plain old stripy red socks.

You can probably guess that I needed a break from socks. So I went on a mission. A pickle mission. I don’t know what the other people in the yarn shop thought of us as the Professor pointed at yarn and I yelled back ‘NO! Not pickly enough!’ and I don’t much care. Pickles are important.

So there you have it. Debbie Bliss Donegal Tweed. Officially the most pickly yarn in existence. And here we have the most pickly hat.

You might think that with all my powers that a few socks and a pickle hat wouldn’t be nearly enough to occupy my MIGHTY INTELLECT, and you would be quite correct.  Have a gold star.

I have been sewing.  I have all my patches ready to join together into a quilt before I sort out the border.  I plan to make a start on The Great Assembling today, but mostly I’ve been procrastinating.  I’m feeling fairly confident that I’m not insane to do it all by hand since reading this…

There are some stunning quilts in there, and I might be brave enough to try one next but there’s a lot of brain work involved in working out what different fabrics to use and I’m still a bit scared.

I have received tribute for the socks I sent off to Mogiebear.

The chocolates arrived intact with no evidence of tampering.  This is a better behaved monkey than I’m used to.  I was thinking his name should be Baron Samedi, but the Professor tells me he’s a zombie pirate.  I’m not so sure.  I reckon he has more of the voodoo about him than the peg leg.

I have also been etsy shopping a teeny tiny bit.

Spooky stitch markers.  Wooooooooooooooooooo.

And Jack Skellington earrings from Viking Knits.  Fear my lobes!

And now I think I’ll have lunch, play some Guitar Hero or My Sims and then maybe it will be too late to start working on my quilt.  Hurrah!