I have a Tree House to paint. :o(

I’m mostly back now and I brought a little friend!

I’m not sure having a dead mouse glued to the wall gave the best impression to the kitchen fitters, and they made a point of leaving him there for us to peel off ourselves.  Apparently mouse removal was not included in the price.   With recession looming large, you’d think tradespeople would be a little keener to please their customers.

I’m sure you’re aware you missed my birthday too.  It’s ok though.  You can get me a better present for Crimbo and I’ll let you off the hook.  Otherwise the hook stays in and you can keep swinging for another month.

Look what I got though!

Just so you don’t miss out on the HILARIOUS pun, those are FREUDIAN SLIPPERS! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!  There’s some pirate cutlassery, a remote controlled zombie (could have done with him when I needed that mouse eating), Bag Style, a book to collect my Precious Thoughts in, the first series of Old Harry’s Game, a new red DS, and in the middle is some laceweight that’s going to become these, and a bunch of stuff that turned up after I took the photo.  Ooh, I got weird sweeties that mess with your taste buds.  I’m thinking of hiding some in the Crimbo dinner.  Maybe they’ll make sprouts bearable.

So Giftmass is coming, but I can’t be arsed with knitting presents this year, so I’m going to pretend to be poor and get away with some cheaparse presents and everyone buying me lovely stuff to cheer me up.  I hope no one I’m related to reads the blog.

I did knit this for the Crimbo party though.

It’s the two toned shrug from fitted knits, but with Rowan Shimmer in the ribbing to make me look all glam.  It’s pretty stretchy so I should be able to hide a fair few sausage rolls down the sleeves.  I’m going to avoid raiding the cheese and pineapple hedgehog after an unfortunate incident last year involving a cocktail stick and the Spanish Ambassador.  I was able to pay him off with a box of Ferrero Rocher, but it was a close call, and I’m not made of rice crispies.  I wish I was.  It would be awesome to be that crunchy.  A bit risky at the seaside though what with the ever present threat of seagulls.  I’ve heard you can explode birds with rice, but does that work if it’s already popped?  Probably not, and I’d not want to lose my leg for the sake of experiment.

I spent some of my birthday pennies on some of that there self striping Fyberspates malarky.

I think it might be witchcraft.

You get buggering loads of it.  I had enough for socks and a dreamswatch headscarf.  It makes me look like a flowerpower hippy, so I haven’t worn it to work yet.  They have an impression of me as being a tiny bit scary and unhinged and I don’t want to ruin that by having them think I like peace and hugging.  They might try and touch me and then I’d have to cut them, and that always leads to awkward social situations and screaming.

We went to the Interknit Cafe on my birthday, and as a special treat the Professor let me buy him some yarn so I could make him a hat.  I’m terribly spoiled.

Do you know, that furry bugger still hasn’t made me my birthday cake?

The only other thing I can remember that I made was a scarf from some alpaca that I think came from Peru or somewhere.  I don’t know.  I don’t care anymore.  It’s not important.

It’s this one, without the fringe and in fuzzier yarn, but otherwise identical.  Apart from the colour.

Now.  If you’re in Blighty, have you seen those Trevor Sorbie ads for the hairdryer with the stuff you put in that does something or other to your hair and he wants everyone to buy them and be shiny?

Right.  Well look at this and then ask yourself if you really want to coat your hair in whatever it is he’s pushing.

No.  I didn’t think so.  Probably what happens is when enough people have shiny hair a chain reaction is set off that blows up Paris.  So very predictable.  Blofeld/Blowdryer.  Does he take us all for fools?